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The Bore* That Broke the Camel's Back (*Original Noun Changed to Avoid Lawsuit)
Blog by Gavin PittG'day, Cobbers!So, I was just informed by The Wire (as in the Internet, not the critically-acclaimed tv series; television doesn't talk back to me anymore since Xander on BUFFY THE...
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Ten MORE Commandments
Blog by Gavin PittAloha, Angels (the hot one with fangs and the great ass from BUFFY, or the sexy sarcastic one from SUPERNATURAL that clearly wants to play hide the halo with Jared Padelecki, take...
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Welcome to Australia - Here's Your Antivenom
Blog by Gavin PittHoo-roo Jackaroos!Some of you may have noticed that I hail from Australia, that huge, salty land where the Ozone Layer is just a myth (a day at an Aussie beach can be accurately...
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Let My People Come
Blog by Gavin PittSalutations, Swimmers! Was perusing my university-related emails the other day to see if the groundskeepers had caught the two Dugites—large, dangerously venomous snakes—that had made...
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The Lamb-y Awards
Blog by Gavin PittAloha, Animorphs!Just this week, a newly discovered species of Huntsman Spider (the huge, hairy but harmless type most famous for nearly killing Jeff Daniels in ARACHNOPHOBIA before...
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Four and Twenty Blackbirds RAKING YOUR EYE!
Blog by Gavin PittHiya, Hawkmen!Well, once again Australia is about to pass into our most frightful season—and no, I'm not talking about Halloween—for some reason and despite repeatedly lobbying of...
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It's 3am, Do You Know Where Your Frontal Lobes Are?
Blog by Gavin PittSalutations, Sarcophages!Spleen-melting viruses that cross the species barrier from animal to human faster than Scooby Doo and Norville "Shaggy" Rogers after a few Ecstasy tabs too...
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Attack of the Prones
Blog by Gavin PittBonjour, Bandagers!You may not know it to look at me, but I belong to a minority group (no, not that one). It's a group of people who are sadly endangered across the globe (usually by...
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Maine? Man!
Blog by Gavin PittBonjour, Best-Men!Well, this week finds the Religious Rong winning another battle against love, compassion and fairness (honestly, American fundamentalist Christians seem so...
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10 Things I Date About You
Blog by Gavin PittCiao Cupids!Sick of all the constant sweaty beast humping and rapturous romance with countless gorgeous members of the opposite/same sex, but you can't afford the montly payments for...
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Xmas Survival Guide for Unrepentant Grinches
Blog by Gavin Pitt G'Day, Grinches!Has going to the mall for supplies become a nightmarish descent into a bizarre realm of animatronic talking/singing Santa dolls and elevator musak versions of "The...
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E.T. Telefon Hjus!
Blog by Gavin PittZounds, Xenomorphs!This week finds your antipodean agony aunt pondering what kind of blase, seen-it-all-before world can be faced with a possible First Contact between Homo sapiens...
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Ho-Ho-Ho-Horrors!
Blog by Gavin PittYello, Yuletiders!!You might find references to some of your jolly scrobe's own personal favourite Seasonal Slaughterfests in the following merry little traditional carol that I just...
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The Noughtie List
Blog by Gavin PittViva Videodromers!Well, 2009 was quite a mixed popcorn bag, cinematically speaking. For every delicious fluffy nugget of yummy cinematic goodness, there were the films that stood in...
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The Good, The Bad and the Fugly
Blog by Gavin PittCiao, Cupids!Like the guy with the sweet ass and the spinnerets says, "with great power comes great responsibility".Fortunately, PIC writers don't have much of either, so we're free...
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Go Cry, Emu Kid
Blog by Gavin PittBonjour, Big Birds!Today, your Accident-Attracting Antipodean Auteur once again spent some time being taught some fucked up life lessons at the School of Randomly Bizarre Happenings,...
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Toad in the A-Hole
Blog by Gavin PittAloha, Anurans!I never thought I'd see the day when an Australian gave up the fight against our lethally-venomous, spined, poisonous, or just plain curmudgeonly bad-assed flora and...
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Cockchafer: Not Just a Beetle, But a Way of Life
Blog by Gavin PittIa, Insectivores!Your Entomological Word of the Day:Phallo-Blaster**- Colloquial name for a Vesica Everter, a hand-held device (naturally invented in Australia, where our men, due to...
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The New Face of Terror
Blog by Gavin PittDasvidanye, Dreamers!Horror movie posterboy Freddy Krueger, has been played by actor Robert Englund since 1984. That all changed this month when the remake of NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET...
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Six Feet Blunder
Blog by Gavin PittCiao, Cenotaphs,One of the disadvantages of Mortality is this whole "Death" thing. Oh sure, you might have been a race-car driving, crime-fighting playboy neurosurgeon who owned a...
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Octopus's Pardon
Blog by Gavin PittMornin', Magical Molluscs! Well, Spain has gone home with the World Cup (or statue; thanks Andrei!), the various team captains are chained nude in the dry well in my baseme...er,...
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Oprah-Homa!
Blog by Gavin PittG'Day, Mates!Well, for the past four days now, the world's most influential woman (not counting Miley Cyrus and her pet bong "Hufflepuff," Mother Nature, or the female members of the...
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The Book of Christmas Revelation
Blog by Gavin PittA reading from the Letter of Saint Nicholas to the Grinchians:And the Sixth Angel broke the Sixth Seal and did release strange creatures, which did solemnly look not unto like a bunch...
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Bad Things to Hear in Bed, Before, During or After Sex
Blog by Gavin PittBonjour, Bonkers!We've all been there. You've just spent a pleasant couple of hours—well at least as pleasant six and a half minutes—with a lucky lad or lass (or Lassie, if you're...
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Bride of Frank-Urchin
Blog by Gavin PittEllo, Echinoderms!Well, I've been a Forensic Entomologist for a while, but until now have not had the opportunity to mix my scientific career with my inherent knack for maniacal...
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The Not-Scars: My 10 Best Films of 2010
Blog by Gavin PittSo I was about to watch the Academy Awards the other week, when I suddenly remembered that I didn't give a shit about them. They used to be good, sure, but once a) Nicholas Cage and...
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Mall Santa Comebacks Guaranteed to Put a Child in Therapy
Blog by Gavin PittGot a job as a Mall Santa this year? Sick of the little brats giving you lists with endless Twilight or Disney merchandise, or smart-ass parents calling you "one of Santa's Helper's,"...
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The 10 Best Overlooked Films of 2011
Blog by Gavin PittViva, Voyeurs! Wells, 2011 was somewhat hit or miss, cinematically speaking. Sure there were some hidden diamonds in the popcorn tub, but the mainstream Hollywood offerings were far...
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Four Signs of the Rapeocalypse: Michael Bay Wet-Dream Edition
Blog by Gavin PittWho needs a bunch of Mayan book-keepers who've been dead for 5000 years, or Harold Camping (the Californian wingnut preacher who has been *brain*dead for 5000 years) telling us when...
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Rapeocalypse II: American Die... Re-Urn-ion
Blog by Gavin PittSo, yeah... about that Zombie Apocalypse scare this week, with the guy in Jersey throwing his own guts at cops, and the naked dude in Florida eating another guy's face...Look, I'm...
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